Christmas In Icicle Creek: Home For The Holidays Page 14

“I do now,” Tristan said. He slumped in his chair as defeat pulsed through him “I guess I just hoped the whole thing would go away.”

  “It hasn’t gone away in the two years you’ve been home, Tris. James is never far from your thoughts. Heck, he’s never far from your phone. Doesn’t he call a couple times a month?”

  “Yeah,” Tristan said, but he kept quiet about James’s cell phone and the texts he received. Frustration and anger boiled inside of Tristan. But what exactly made him angry? Was it Courtney’s betrayal? Yes! Was it James’s insistent lurking in Tristan’s life? Absolutely. But this was how James operated.

  Carolyn continued, “I know you’ve wanted to be a friend to him, Tris, but in many ways, your friendship with James has kept you locked up, too. You can’t save him.”

  Tristan looked at his mother with intent. “Yes! Yes, I can. I must.”

  Tristan’s mother gently laid her hand on her son’s arm. “He’s not your father, Tris. He doesn’t deserve the same kind of effort.”

  “But Dad …” Husky tears broke from Tristan. “I wanted to save him, and I couldn’t.” Delayed tears would no longer be denied. No amount of competition, play, money, or work could stand between Tristan and his sadness. It hit him like a flash flood in the desert landscape of his grief. “I just wanted him to be okay. I would’ve done anything, given up anything for him to be healed. He had so much he still needed to teach me.” Tristan sobbed. “I can’t even remember his voice anymore!”

  Carolyn pulled Tristan into a motherly embrace. “I know,” she whispered. “I know.”

  Together, they cried over lost time, memories that would never be made, and faded recollections. Tristan didn’t know how long he sat with his mother holding him before he finally sat up and wiped his nose on his shirttail. “I’m so sorry, Mom. I’m supposed to be the strong one.”

  “Honey, it doesn’t work that way. Tears take strength.” She gave a small laugh as she wiped away a few stray tears. “But we still have James to deal with, and I’m not going to let this go now.” Carolyn continued, “He is not the same kind of man as your father, Tris. He doesn’t deserve your devotion. James violated your friendship. He was committing intentional criminal acts, and as far as I know, he’s never shown an inkling of remorse around what happened. Does that sound like a man your father would want around? And just as importantly, when he was under investigation, did he at any time tell the authorities that you were completely innocent?”

  Tristan blinked. His earlier tears cleared his mind, and he could finally begin to see things through a distinct and sharp lens. The argument he’d offered Noelle around Courtney’s intrusion retreated. His mother was posing a much bigger question. “I don’t know …” he replied slowly.

  “I realize this is speculation, but it’s my guess that if James had advocated for you with the authorities, he would’ve wanted you to know. He wouldn’t be able to help himself. He would’ve needed to exploit his good deed.”

  A slick sweat broke out over Tristan’s body as the truth of his mother’s words resonated within. More clarity. “Are you saying that one reason the prosecution was so hot on my trail is because James put them there?”

  “Not exactly. I’m saying that it’s my belief that James never called them off. He let them investigate all of his friends, when all he had to do was tell the prosecution and investigators that you knew nothing about his financial dealings or his house-flipping business. They would’ve investigated to the fullest, I’m sure. But I doubt their investigation would’ve taken such a nasty turn if James had come clean in the beginning. They were putting a lot of pressure on you through the media and other ways to see if you’d crack.” She squeezed Tristan’s hands as she softly spoke. “I think he wanted you right there with him, Tris.”

  Tristan’s stomach turned, and he swallowed hard to keep from throwing up. His soul recognized the truth of his mother’s words. He took in a deep breath and then another as the depth of betrayal overwhelmed him. “What am I going to do?”

  Carolyn offered Tristan a smile. “Tonight? Nothing. There’s nothing to do about James tonight. Or Noelle, for that matter. Things always look better in the morning, so we’ll talk more then. But first, let’s finish our conversation around Courtney. What are your thoughts about her?”

  Tristan looked out the window. He was greeted by his own haggard reflection in the glass that separated him from the black expanse of night and the gathering snowstorm that blew around him. His anger around Courtney was still raw, but it didn’t carry quite the same steam. “My first reaction was to call her and give her a piece of my mind, but now, I can see how that’s exactly what she’s expecting. If I call her, I’m just playing her game. If I don’t call, it cuts the chain reaction, and I want to get as far from Courtney as possible.”

  Carolyn smiled at her son. “Good for you. That’s definitely a step in the right direction.”

  Tristan was bolstered by his mother’s encouragement. It had taken him years to understand Courtney. But maybe, when it came to James, it was a lesson he wouldn’t have to learn twice. Finally, he understood his desire to stay close to James and save him from himself. It mirrored his desire to save his father from cancer. But in spite of his love for each of them, neither man was within his control. Tristan could only save himself. He may not be able to outrun the Arizona heat, but maybe it was time to stand and face it.

  Chapter 21

  With some trepidation the following week, Noelle walked into the Fox Hollow Inn to pick up her final paycheck. She had called before arriving, wanting to make sure Tristan would not be working. At a little after noon, the lobby was empty, and Noelle was able to catch Sian alone.

  Sian rose from her desk in the office when Noelle walked in. “Oh, my flower, I am so very sorry for all of this.”

  Noelle resisted the urge to fall into a crying heap into Sian’s embrace. Instead, she hugged her friend close. “It’s not your fault,” she said. “And in the end, it was a good thing. It’s made me take a hard look at my future instead of just bumping along.”

  Sian gave Noelle a sad smile. “I wish you’d consider Tristan’s offer to quit so you could continue working. We’re prepared to let him go. It’s not so much about choosing, but about realizing that if he was going to involve you in his life, he needed to tell you about his life.”

  Noelle’s heart clenched at the mention of Tristan. He fit so well into her family and they fit together in so many ways. Already, the lack of his presence left a gaping hole in her world. She swallowed hard as doubt crowded her earlier decisions. She shook it away. “No. It’s best this way. I need to move on, and he needs to stay here. He’ll do a great job.”

  “He misses you.”

  “Yeah … well …” Noelle bit the inside of her cheek to keep from speaking about her own melancholy around Tristan. She desperately wanted to ask if had said anything to Sian or George about her or their conversation, but she wouldn’t ask. The less she knew, the better, and she didn’t want to put Sian in an uncomfortable position.

  “Do you have any plans?” Sian asked.

  Noelle was grateful for the change in their conversation. “I’m working on something, but I’m not talking much about it until it’s set. I’ll let you know as soon as I figure it out.”

  Sian nodded and hugged Noelle again. “We love you, you know. No matter where your travels take you, I hope you know you can always come home.”

  Sincere affection warmed Noelle, and she offered her first laugh in days. “You sound like my mother.”

  “I’m glad to hear it,” Sian replied. “Give her my love, will you?”

  Noelle nodded before hugging Sian again. She glanced at the clock. Tristan’s shift started in thirty minutes, and he was known to come in early. “I’d better go.”

  Sian squeezed Noelle’s hand. “We will miss you here, my flower.”

  Tears came to Noelle’s eyes. “And I’ll miss both you and George.” Giving Sian one last squeeze of the hand,
she hurried to her car as a new storm began blanketing the streets of Icicle Creek in white.

  On a whim, Noelle turned away from home and parked her car on the main street, deciding to take a walk around town in hopes the Christmas decorations would offer some spark of bliss. Icicles hung from the eaves of many of the buildings, and snow covered the roofs. A chill ran through Noelle, and she pulled her coat and scarf close. It was so beautiful here, but the usual allure of Icicle Creek left her empty.

  She focused on the trees of Front Street Park, which were covered in fragile snowflakes, and the lights that lined their branches lit the snow in a celestial glow. Children were sledding down the small hill, their laughter echoed by their parents’ joy. She searched her soul for some cheer around the holiday scenes that she so dearly loved, but found nothing.

  Noelle wandered off the main street and found a covered bench near Waterfront Park. She loved the parks of Icicle Creek and how they were so close to downtown. Sitting in the hush of lazily falling snow, she watched the river rush by as if on an urgent errand while she shivered in the fixed cold. The energy of the river pulled at her. She wished to move, too.

  Closing her eyes, she let her mind wander to older memories of different waters: the warm beaches of Hawaii and Kendall. Since her breakup with Tristan, these recollections found new color and vibrancy. Warm sand and gentle sapphire surf played with the trade winds and a turquoise sky. She breathed in those remembrances as a refuge from the fresh pain of her breakup with Tristan.

  For the last week she had resisted the memories of Hawaiian beaches and palm trees that played with the warm ocean breezes. But that hadn’t stopped her from checking out the job requests for the Four Seasons Resort on the Big Island. They needed a front-desk team leader. It would be a step up from her old job, and she was sure she could do it, if they would hire her back. The idea of brushing off her old dream of exotic world travel gave her solace in the cocoon of the constant ache brought on with the loss of Tristan.

  Noelle bit her lip. She had some doubts about applying for the job. She didn’t want to work Christmas. She had worked last Christmas, and the experience was miserable, and she certainly didn’t need any more misery. She thought back to last year’s Christmas. Even though she and Kendall had come home earlier in the month, nothing had helped alleviate her desire to be in Icicle Creek for her favorite holiday. She’d missed home and her family.

  Now, a year later, Noelle balked at the idea of leaving home just before the holidays. She watched the rushing river as the thought turned over in her mind.

  Maybe getting away for Christmas was the best thing. After all, she wasn’t exactly in the holiday spirit, and even walking the familiar streets of Icicle Creek in all of their Christmas splendor did not lift her.

  Maybe the management at Four Seasons would be open to letting her come home for Christmas since she’d worked last year’s holiday. That would allow her to work for a few weeks before the big holiday. She would only need a couple of days. If Kendall put in a good word … Noelle sucked in her breath at the thought of contacting Kendall.

  Pulling her phone from her back pocket, she retrieved Kendall’s number with shaky fingers and stared at the screen. He was only a touch away. The thought made her shiver with uncertainty.

  She hadn’t talked to her family about this chain of thought. Her earlier conversation with them about her breakup with Tristan followed her expectations. Her mother understood, while some stubborn part of her little brother hoped for reconciliation with Tristan. Her dad was just glad Noelle had broken up with him before Noelle had invested too much of her heart. He didn’t understand that she and Tristan shared a sweet and deepening intimacy that had been there from the beginning. It was found in their comfortable humor and the way she told him everything, even when she was angry. Only Noelle’s mother understood what her decision to leave Tristan had cost.

  Noelle refocused her thoughts, but they afforded only doubt. She needed a new plan, and she hoped it could be forged through a familiar avenue. Staring at the phone number on her screen, Noelle had no doubt Kendall was still working the Four Seasons on the Big Island. All she had to do was call and tell him she was interested in returning and gauge his reaction. Heat rose from her chest, causing her palms to sweat. Her courage washed downstream with the river. Pursing her lips, she clicked away the contacts before returning her phone to her back pocket.

  Chapter 22

  “Hey, bro!” James’s voice came through the phone line as Tristan steeled himself for the conversation that was ahead.

  “Hey, James.” Tristan’s thoughts roamed toward Noelle, making him glad he had never told James about her. No matter what happened between Tristan and James, he wouldn’t have to worry about her experiencing any fallout. “How are you?”

  “About the same. Three squares and one small square living space. It’s enough to make a man crazy. And let me tell you, there are some crazies in here. Some guy came at me yesterday with a homemade knife. The guards took him down, so I’m all right, but it sure scared me, and I’m wishing I could get out of here.”

  “I’m sorry, James,” Tristan said, but there was a new distance in his words that separated them from his heart. “When are you set to be released?”

  “I’ve got another five years on my sentence, but with good behavior, I think I can be out in a year.”

  Panic seared Tristan. He didn’t like the idea of an early release for James, and even though the possibility was tucked in the back of his brain, it wasn’t something he wanted to consider. He shook his head free of that concern and remembered the question that was stuck in his head since Noelle left him. “James, can I ask you something?”

  “Sure, bro. Anything.”

  Tristan chose his words carefully. He didn’t want to reference James’s trial or the guilty verdict. “Do you ever think about the families who were defrauded?”

  “Nope. Water under the bridge,” James said. “And I’ll remind you that I pled not guilty. It wasn’t my fault what happened. If it weren’t for that stupid prosecutor with a feather up his fanny, I wouldn’t be sitting here today eating beans and drinking Kool-Aid.”

  “But—”

  The undercurrent of James’s tone turned hard. “I gotta run.” The line went dead.

  Tristan stood holding his phone. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected from James around this conversation, but after all they’d been through together, he didn’t think his best friend would hang up on him. Tristan wanted answers.

  Several minutes later, Tristan’s cell phone pinged with a text. He pulled it out and found a message from James. DO NOT EVER ask me about the case again! They record every call I make, and I’m not talking about it over the phone. But I stand by my answer. I did nothing wrong.

  Tristan’s palms began to sweat as he read James’s text, putting his brain in overdrive. How could James not feel something for all the people who were damaged by his actions? Another serious question rose to the top of Tristan’s mind. What would James expect from him once he was out of prison? The anxiety rang up a notch. Tristan moved to delete the text, but instead, he studied it again before deciding to keep it.

  Putting his phone in his back pocket, he turned his thought toward Noelle, once again grateful that James knew nothing about her. He had seen Noelle just briefly as she walked out of the Fox Hollow Inn, bundled in a winter coat, a scarf, and snow boots, and her auburn hair gently flying in the snowy breeze. His heart contracted, and he yearned to approach her, to feel the brush of her hair against his fingers. But he kept his distance and watched as the light from the snow reflected in her face, giving her a warm glow. She was beautiful, and he had lost her because of Courtney and James.

  Tristan shook his head. He knew better. That wasn’t entirely true. He lost her because he hadn’t been truthful. Even now, accusable guilt mingled with the shocking reality of how his lack of integral frankness had altered everyone’s life involved. She was no longer working at the Fox Hollow
Inn, which put Sian and George in a bind. He had offered to quit so Noelle could continue working, but Sian had told him Noelle had already put in her notice. Tristan was crestfallen. Now, Noelle was at loose ends and out of reach. Would she return to Hawaii? The despondency over this new loss opened the traumatic wound he still suffered from his father’s death, leaving Tristan dispirited.

  Then there was Courtney. Tristan’s jaw tightened. She had come into the Fox Hollow Inn just yesterday, acting nonchalant and pretending to be interested in his work there. Hot rage beat through Tristan as she’d greeted him with feigned innocence. He’d told her he was too busy for a visit and he would prefer to never see her again. He kept his voice even and dispassionate, so she would know he meant it. He refused to give her the satisfaction of knowing the end result of her interference. After his curt dismissal, she left in a huff.

  Pulling out his phone, Tristan checked James’s text once again as disappointment trickled through him. In some ways, he could understand James’s reticence in talking about the case over the phone, but Tristan wasn’t going to use the contraband cell phone to instigate a conversation. Not that it mattered. He had his answer. The text told him everything he needed to know. James was not sorry for the losses sustained by those he had defrauded. In fact, he appeared to believe that he was the victim of an overachieving prosecutor.

  The earlier trickle of disappointment became a raging flood. His mom was right. Tristan was in his own jail. His guilt and regret over what happened was misplaced in James. Yes, he should’ve made different choices, but not necessarily for James’s sake, but for those people who were truly victims of James’s fraudulent behavior.

  And what about his own losses? Noelle, the girl he believed offered him a hopeful future, was gone. He missed everything about her: her teasing nature, the softness of her skin on the back of her neck, and the way her kiss yielded to his mouth. He missed the warmth of her family and their unabashed acceptance.