Christmas In Icicle Creek: Home For The Holidays Read online

  His mother nodded. “I’m glad you’ve come to understand that, Tris.”

  “I don’t think I could own it until I was ready to put it behind me.” He reached over and took his mother’s hands. His friendship with James had cost him so much, but he counted Noelle as his biggest loss. He needed to face that loss if he wanted to claim the hope that would offer him a different path. He would change his phone number tomorrow and make sure he got it to the Foster family.

  The burden and shackles of James continued to lift from Tristan, creating lightness where gloom had overshadowed everything. He smiled at his mom. “Have I told you how much I appreciate your wisdom?”

  “Not lately,” his mother said before smiling. “But just remember, there’s plenty more where that came from.”

  Relief ushered into Tristan’s heart as he took in a long, slow breath and exhaled. His past could not be undone, but maybe his future no longer needed to be its hostage.

  Chapter 26

  In Hawaii, Noelle sat on the warm sand, listening to the surf crash against the shore while watching Kendall ride another wave. She loved watching his grace and ease along the wave. Somehow, he could read the water and know which way to turn, like a cat walking the top of a fence. It filled her with admiration.

  Pulling her knees to her chest, she sighed, wishing she was able to navigate their relationship with the same ease. Not much had changed in the two weeks since she arrived, but Noelle was grateful that so far, Kendall had not offered her any gifts. For some reason, the idea of accepting anything from him felt wrong. They shared much of their time off, and Noelle loved spending time on the beach. But her unfamiliarity with the surfer culture was awkward, and she didn’t have any desire to become a part of Kendall’s tight group of friends and their girlfriends. Their life revolved around finding the next big wave. Kendall included her in all of it, but even when she was with him, he rarely noticed her. Instead, he was preoccupied with the water, his eyes always watching the turquoise and sapphire ocean, counting swells.

  Noelle pushed her toes into the warm sand. She was sitting alone, like always, staring at that same ocean while replaying her memories of the waters of Icicle Creek and Tumbling Falls. She recalled Tristan’s habit of tucking a stray piece of her hair behind her ear and the gentle way his lips lingered on hers, causing her to shiver in the warm Hawaiian sun.

  Her thoughts turned to Icicle Creek. She’d learned from her mom that her hometown was under a foot of snow. It was a heavy load for mid-November, but the small community was excited to begin their Christmas preparations early.

  Noelle ached for the rituals of Christmas with her family: hot cocoa with candy canes, baking gingerbread cookies and other goodies, and walking Main Street to see store window displays all decked out for Christmas while sipping warm apple cider. She missed Sampson, and a longing to share those moments with her family and with Tristan haunted her while surrounded by breezy palm trees and warm sand. She was prepared to miss home during the Christmas season, but she wasn’t ready to miss Tristan as part of the package.

  She shook those thoughts away as Kendall came in from the ocean. Shading her eyes, Noelle watched as he hurried toward her with his board, his brown skin glistening with water and warm sun. He flashed her a smile as he raked his hands through his wet hair and plopped down beside her, toweling himself off. “What a day! These are the best waves so far this month.”

  Noelle broke from her memories and turned toward him. She admired his dark good looks and waited for something to stir within her, but the chambers of her heart offered nothing. She felt the pendant just underneath her T-shirt and pulled it out from behind her shirt.

  Kendall noticed it and reached over and gently took it between his fingers. “I’ve wondered about this,” he murmured. “I’m glad you kept it.”

  Noelle covered Kendall’s hand with her own, sure he would bend over to kiss her. Maybe this was what it would take for her to finally rekindle her feelings for Kendall. But the kiss never came. Instead, he reached over and gently caressed her face before sitting back.

  Noelle blinked as the familiar imbalance resurfaced around Kendall’s presence in her life. Her tongue flicked over her lips, and she waited, feeling slightly embarrassed and deeply unsure.

  “I was thinking we could go to dinner tonight. There’s a food truck on the other side of Kona. I hear they’ve got the best teriyaki on the island. What do you say?” Kendall stood and offered Noelle his hand.

  Noelle covered her uncertainty. “Sounds like a good way to spend an evening,” she said as she reached up and took Kendall’s outstretched fingers, but some part of her was miles away from this warm ocean, standing on the precipice of Tumbling Falls with Tristan’s strong arm wrapped around her waist, keeping her safe.

  * * *

  Noelle checked herself in the mirror. Her white shorts and aqua-colored T-shirt showed off her new tan while sandals brought attention to her long legs. Quickly, she threw her hair into a French braid just as Kendall gave a soft knock.

  “I’m sure it’s for you!” Tanya yelled from downstairs.

  Noelle grabbed her purse and sunglasses before hurrying to the door. Kendall was dressed in khaki shorts and a Hawaiian shirt with surfboards, showing off his deeply bronzed skin. His black hair shone in the sun, and although Noelle admired his masculine charm, she was aware that he didn’t belong to her. She kept her distance.

  As they started out of the condo complex, Kendall took Noelle’s hand. She leaned against his shoulder as the uncertainty eased, but it left her hesitant.

  They drove through Kona and the heat sweltered. Noelle’s apprehension grew in their usual silence, and she longed for an easy conversation about anything. She turned toward Kendall. “My family is freezing in Icicle Creek, so I’m soaking up the heat for them.”

  Kendall smiled. “Lucky you.”

  Noelle laughed, even though she didn’t feel particularly lucky.

  They arrived at the food truck to find a few picnic tables scattered around. Noelle chose one and gazed out over the ocean while Kendall ordered their meal.

  He joined Noelle and sat opposite her. “I’ve never been here, but I’ve been told it’s amazing.”

  The silence continued, and Noelle longed to understand what Kendall was thinking. But he wasn’t Tristan, and a sense of acceptance overcame her. This was Kendall, and this was what a relationship with him meant. If she stayed, they would share something entirely different than she and Tristan had. Was that what she wanted? Following Kendall’s gaze to the water, she asked, “You’ve grown close to your surfer friends, haven’t you?”

  Kendall nodded as he looked out over the water. “After you left, I dedicated myself to surfing. I felt horrible about what happened between us, and surfing was the only thing that made me feel better.” He looked up at Noelle. “What did you do when you got home?”

  Noelle was grateful for the beginning of a conversation and to share her experiences with Kendall about the Fox Hollow Inn and George and Sian. “I started work at a small inn in Icicle Creek.”

  Kendall shook his head. “That’s a waste of good potential.”

  The old angst that had torn them apart almost a year ago rankled her. Noelle furrowed her brow. “What do you mean?”

  “I’ve said this before, Noelle. You’re a high-end girl. You belong in a high-end property.”

  “Good hospitality can happen anywhere, Kendall.” Noelle remembered Tristan’s words and the comfort they’d brought her as they talked about their work at inn. “Not everybody is suited for the Four Seasons.”

  “Maybe not. But you are.”

  The man from the food truck called Kendall’s name, and he rose from the table. He came back with their meal and took a bite. “Isn’t this the best?”

  Noelle nodded with her mouth full. After she finished, she said, “I agree that I love what the Four Seasons offers, but I also loved what Fox Hollow offers.”

  Kendall gave a small laugh. “Fox
Hollow? That’s the name of the inn where you worked?”

  A separate heat from the weather began to stir within Noelle. It mixed with the angst, but she didn’t want to give in to her rising irritation. Maybe if she could just explain the importance of the inn, Kendall would understand. “Yeah. And the owners, George and Sian, treated me like family. It was a lovely experience. They’re a part of the community. They hired Tristan, who had an unfortunate brush with the law in order to help him overcome his social anxiety.” Her thoughts raced toward Tristan and she was filled with a sense of loss. She missed his warm intimacy, tender embrace, and gentle touch. “He fit in nicely and was able to—”

  “Able to what? Talk to people again? Take you out on a date?”

  Noelle looked sharply at Kendall. “Overcome some bad press he didn’t deserve.” Her heart ached. Gosh, she wanted Tristan! Then she remembered James.

  Kendall shook his head. “That’s great, Noelle. But we’re not running a charity service here. We’re in the business of keeping high-end clients happy, and you’re good at that. You know just how to manage every kind of customer. I realize that not everyone can afford the Four Seasons, and that’s fine, but those who can ultimately choose it over some place like … what was it called again? The Fox Hollow?”

  “Not everyone, Kendall. Some folks like what Icicle Creek has to offer with its rustic inns and cozy comforts and charm.”

  Kendall shrugged. “What do you think of this teriyaki?”

  Noelle quelled her impatience as she finished her last bite. Any sprig of feeling she had hoped to extend toward Kendall vanished. Not only did he completely miss the value in her family and hometown, she simply couldn’t talk to him. When he was finished with the conversation, he just moved on to something else. It kept her off-balance. Tristan wouldn’t do this.

  Noelle considered her disappointment over her last conversation with Tristan. She didn’t appreciate his eagerness to blame Courtney for everything, and she grew sour over his friendship with James. But at least he was talking, and she knew how he was processing their discussion. Even during the heated moments, he stayed with her. Now, sitting with Kendall, she remained silent, and he didn’t seem to notice.

  Kendall continued, “What do you say we take a drive to Honaunau Bay? I know we don’t have any snorkeling gear, but we can see the fish right from the shore of the park.”

  “I’d like that,” Noelle said as she threw her trash away.

  In the car, Kendall drove while Noelle sat in silence as she considered Kendall’s words about the Fox Hollow Inn. Why couldn’t he just accept that her small town had so much to offer, even if it wasn’t selling rooms close to a thousand dollars a night? Tristan was right. There were many ways to offer hospitality, but the best hospitality came from a sense of real caring, and maybe that was why she was so good at what she did. It didn’t have anything to do with being a high-end girl. She truly cared about her guests, and she cared about George and Sian. And no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t quit caring about Tristan, even if they didn’t have a future.

  The realization caught Noelle off guard. She bit her lip as tears sprang to her eyes. She turned toward the passenger-side window and blinked them away.

  Once they got to Pu’uhonua O Honaunau National Park, Kendall paid the fee and they leisurely began walking the grounds. The gentle sand beach was roped off to allow for the napping sea turtles to sleep in the last of the evening sun. The water gently caressed each animal in a warm embrace.

  Confusion reigned in Noelle’s heart, and she focused on her surroundings in hopes of clearing her head. Kendall took Noelle’s hand, leading her toward the black lava where the shore met the water in small splashing waves. There they spotted yellow tang and other reef fish swimming among the shallows.

  Kendall turned to her, and before Noelle understood what was happening, he leaned in for a soft kiss. The familiarity of his lips on hers pulled at her, but it wasn’t enough to squash the uncertainty that loomed ever larger in her soul. Some deep part of her essence refused to be touched by Kendall, because it belonged to Tristan. Noelle broke from Kendall and looked down at the waves that gently lapped against the black lava.

  “I’m glad you’ve come back.” Kendall tried to draw her close.

  Noelle withdrew from him. “Me too, but not for the reasons you may think.”

  “What do you mean?” Kendall asked.

  The earlier confusion dissolved and was replaced with a clarity that mirrored the gentle waters lapping against the black lava. She loved Kendall, but it wasn’t the same love she felt for Tristan, and it never would be. When she thought of Tristan, her heart cried out for his touch. She longed to walk the banks of Icicle Creek with him or watch him play with Sampson or accept teasing from her little brother. She wanted to feel his roughened palm gently touch her face, and she longed for the security of his ardent kiss and loving embrace.

  Noelle brought herself back to the Hawaiian evening with Kendall, and her heart hurt at the words that needed to come next. “When I quit earlier this year, I was angry, and I left in a hurry. Leaving under those conditions was a mistake.”

  Kendall gave her a curious look. “Where are you going with this?”

  Noelle looked down at the water. “I think you know, Kendall. This just isn’t going to work between us. You’ve become a serious surfer with a new group of friends and a new way of life, and I doubt I’d fit in.” She looked up at him. “I’ve changed, too. But in essentials, I’m the same. I’m still a small-town girl who sees value in everything offered me by my family and Icicle Creek.” Her voice picked up strength as she continued, “I see the difference George and Sian made in Tristan’s life. I see the difference they’ve made in mine. I love it here. But I love it there, too. I love both.” She turned toward Kendall. “And I have loved you,” she said softly as heartache mingled with relief. “I still do. But sometimes, it takes more than love, and this may be one of those times.”

  Kendall took one of Noelle’s hands and held it to his chest. “What could be more important than love?”

  Noelle squeezed Kendall’s fingers and tried to sense his beating heart, but she couldn’t reach it. It mirrored her own silent heart. “Respect, Kendall. I think respect may be more important than love. And no matter what I do, I can’t seem to earn yours.”

  Kendall blinked. “What do you mean? I respect you. I respect your ability to work with all kinds of clients. I respect your right to make decisions based on your own value system.”

  Passion ignited within Noelle. “But you don’t respect my values. You never have. You may respect my right to have them, but that’s not the same. Don’t you see? It may encourage understanding, but it doesn’t create …” She searched for the right word. “Intimacy.” The realization of her words struck her. When she thought of Tristan, that was what she missed! It was something she would never be able to possess with Kendall.

  Kendall sucked in his breath. “I-I’m not sure what you mean.”

  “And that’s okay.” She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as calm replaced the earlier confusion. “It’s okay.” She reached for Kendall and pulled him close, pressing him to her. His salt-water-and-sun-roughened skin was warm against her cheek.

  Kendall pulled her even closer. “I have always loved you,” he whispered fiercely in her ear.

  The truth of his words spilled inside of Noelle. This was the first time Kendall had ever offered her these words. For years, she longed to hear him whisper his love for her, but he withheld it, doling it out in small pieces. Now, it didn’t matter, and there was something sad about his shuttered love for her when her adoration for him had run dry. She pulled away from him. “Then why didn’t you ever tell me?”

  “I-I-I don’t know.”

  “I needed to hear that a long time ago, Kendall. I’m afraid it’s too late now.”

  Kendall’s eyes, usually so indifferent in their expression, were now filled with pain.

  “I’
m so sorry,” Noelle said with quiet sadness as she caressed his cheek. “I’m so very sorry.”

  Kendall swallowed and the tears disappeared. “Me too,” he whispered.

  Taking Kendall’s hand, she felt his pain. It pulled at her heart and almost made her reconsider her decision. Tears filled her eyes as she hurriedly brushed them away.

  Kendall placed his arm around her shoulder, and Noelle appreciated his wiry strength as they stood together on the hard, unforgiving lava. The gentle Hawaiian breeze surrounded them as a witness to their final moments together. Noelle closed her eyes as she leaned against Kendall. So many lost opportunities and wasted years, and Noelle had mourned each of them throughout her months at home. Now, standing on the shore of Hawaii’s lovely clear water, she could see into the depth of her own soul, and she understood what she did not want, freeing herself to finally understand what she did want—and she wanted everything Tristan offered, even if she couldn’t have it.

  Chapter 27

  Noelle sat on the edge of her bed and dialed her home number in Icicle Creek. It was late back home, but Noelle missed her mom. She breathed a sigh of happiness when her mom picked up the phone.

  “How’s my girl?” her mother asked.

  “I’m fine, Mom. How’s everybody there?”

  “Well, Cory is looking forward to Christmas break. Your dad has managed to get a few days off around New Year’s, and Sampson is growing like a weed.”

  “I know! I can’t believe the last picture you sent. He and Cory both have changed. Do you think he’d recognize me if I came home?”

  “Who? Cory or Sampson?”

  Noelle laughed. “Sampson, of course.”

  “I’m sure of it,” her mother replied. “How are things going in Hawaii?”

  “Well, the job is great. And the weather is great. And my roommate is great.”

  “And how’s Kendall?”